


Follow Through

by CreepsMalone



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Boys Being Boys, Boys In Love, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, Implied Drug Use, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Mixtape, Yearning, i wrote this and edited it while high, ive had this in my drives for like a full year now, like very light, so dont expect it to be good, so i figured i may as well start posting it, theyre all 18, year is 1994
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-27
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:54:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27747841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CreepsMalone/pseuds/CreepsMalone
Summary: "Is this…..?" Eddie started, taking another quick glance at the item before once again looking up to meet Richie's eyes. "A mixtape?" He blinked, feeling unsure. He was sure his expression displayed just how baffled he was feeling.Richie felt his heart stutter in his chest as Eddie's eyes met his own, confused yet still as warm as always. One look was all it took to send a shiver throughout Richie's body. Eddie's eyes were another one of Richie's weaknesses, the deep brown color always seemed to draw him in so deep he felt like he might drown in them."Uh. Yeah." Richie nodded. "I made it for you."
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak & Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 16
Kudos: 95





	1. Gifts

**Author's Note:**

> I've been writing and working on this thing for months bc i only work on it while high and i figured i may as well go ahead and post the first chapter since ive actually managed to finish editing it enough to be vaguely coherent. If you guys like it and want me to finish editing the rest and add them let me know bc i have like 10k more waiting in my drives to be edited. 
> 
> Richies Mixtape, for anyone interested: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLjXJONaJPevACsHfoI4qBe3n_9tQzZY8m

Richie Tozier started his day feeling nervous. It wasn't often that he experienced much nervousness during school hours these days; what with it being pretty far into their senior year and the blatant senioritis everyone had begun to develop. Even most of his teachers seemed to be winding down classes for the year despite the fact there was still three months to get through before the semester was actually over. 

Thankfully this meant that Richie had been able to avoid any school induced anxiety for the past few weeks now. Today, however, was different. Although in this case the reason for his anxiety wasn't necessarily school related. 

Richie had started his day off not too much different than he always did. He had gotten a firm 3 hours of sleep the night before, he'd had a hearty breakfast consisting of a piece of toast, and he arrived at the school roughly the same time he always did. Which was, of course, 10 minutes before classes began and a good 15 minutes later than all of his friends. 

He shuffled down the school hallways, already bustling with students preparing for their first classes of the day. Richie did his best to weave through the crowd without knocking into anyone too badly, following the familiar route through the chaos directly to Bill's locker. 

Eventually his destination came into view, Richie's height advantage over the majority of his peers did come in handy when looking for someone in a crowd, allowing his gaze to easily lock onto his group of friends even from 20 feet away. Bill was standing at his locker gathering his first period books while behind him Ben, Bev, Stan and Eddie stood chattering amongst themselves about nothing in particular. As soon as Richie's gaze landed on Eddie he felt his stomach flutter pathetically, the small object that he had in the pocket of his jeans felt like it was practically burning a hole through the denim as he remembered the mission he was on.

Richie finally reached them, edging his way past some people that had stopped in the middle of the hallway, and squeezing his way into where they were grouped up against the lockers lining the wall, immediately flashing them all a grin with his usual confidence. 

"Howdy, friends, how is everyone doing on this fine morning?" Richie greeted with an exaggerated gusto, unknowingly interrupting some story Eddie had been telling about his latest experience at the local movie theater and his opinions one the films that were currently playing. Richie slid into his usual place, squished in between Eddie and Stan's shoulders as the group tried to press themselves close enough to all stand in a circle together in order to talk without being in the way of other students trying to access their lockers.

"Good morning Richie," Stan greeted, followed quickly by a chorus of nondescript 'hellos' and 'whats ups' from the other members of the group. 

Stan spoke up again once everyone finished exchanging their greetings. "We were talking about maybe going to go see that new prison movie that just came out for movie night tomorrow. I heard it was really good."

Eddie nodded enthusiastically, launching right back into the tirade Richie had interrupted. "I heard that Morgan Freeman was amazing in it. Like, apparently people are saying it's one of his best yet. Oh, and there's also that other movie, 'Pulp Fiction', or something. People won't shut up about it. Apparently it's, like, fuckin' crazy because its all shot out of order or something."

As he finished talking, Bill finally managed to sort out his locker, kicking the door shut and turning around to join the conversation properly. 

"Most movies are sh-shot out of order. Supposedly this one just k-k-kept it like that on p-purpose or something. The whole st-storyline is played out of order." 

Beside Bill, Ben frowned, eyebrows furrowing slightly. 

"Out of order? Wouldn't that be super confusing?"

Eddie shrugged. "I have no idea. Apparently not though, since so many people seem to be going crazy for it." 

Bev nodded in agreement from her place between Ben and Stan.

"Yeah, no kidding. Yesterday during study hall there were these two guys sitting near me who talked about it all period. I didn't even think you _could_ have that many opinions on one movie, but they certainly did." 

The conversation continued, bouncing from one person to another as they each chimed in in turn with whatever came to their mind.

Richie listened to them chatter for a while. The hum of their familiar voices mixed with the obnoxious noise of the busy hallway, creating a comforting lull to his ears as he zoned out and focused instead on the feeling of nervousness buzzing in his stomach. 

He had made himself a promise that he would do it today, no matter what. His thoughts shifted to the boy pressed up against his side, now talking animatedly once again. Eddie. Everywhere they touched sent little jolts of electricity racing through Richie's body, filling his stomach with so many butterflies he felt like he might throw up. He could feel the other boy practically vibrating with energy beside him, so worked up with excitement and his usual high strung nerves that it almost seemed like he would explode any second.

Richie tried to be subtle as he glanced over at the shorter boy, allowing his gaze to drift over the features of Eddie's face, taking note of some of the new particularly dark freckles that had appeared spattered across his nose and onto his cheeks, most likely due to recent sun exposure. He could always tell when Eddie had been spending time outside in the sun. He noticed every new spot that appeared on Eddie's face.

Richie thought to himself that he could probably spend a whole day doing nothing but counting all of Eddie's freckles, from the obvious ones covering his nose all the way to the faintest traces of the ones that had all but already faded away from the summer, lightly trailing down his jaw and neck and down past the collar of his shirt.

He also knew for a fact that those freckles would lead all the way down Eddie's torso if he'd gotten enough sun. One activity that practically guaranteed it was when the group would go swimming in the quarry. 

Unfortunately, this also lead to Richie developing a small habit of sneaking some not so subtle glances at Eddie, especially when they _did_ linger at the quarry, either swimming or simply basking in the sunlight and chatting. He found that he couldn't help but look; the freckles scattered over Eddie's shoulders and down his back were an intoxicating sight. He more often than not ended up spending the group's quarry days yearning for a chance to see those freckles up close, perhaps closer than what one would consider strictly platonic. In fact, he often found himself yearning to trace his fingers over each of the freckles scattered over Eddie's skin to see what constellations he could find.

"-ichie. Richie! Hello? Earth to Trashmouth? You haven't said a word in, like, 5 minutes. Are you sick or something?" 

Richie was drawn from his thoughts as Stan waved a hand in front of his face.

In front of him, every member of the group had their eyes on him, some vaguely worried or confused and others only showing vague amusement. Richie pointedly did not look at Eddie, knowing full well that he had probably been blatantly staring at him for the past few minutes and based off of his friends reactions it seemed as though everyone else had probably noticed this as well.

Richie blinked behind his glasses, shaking his head as though he could physically fling the thoughts away. 

"Ah," he started, giving the group a wide grin and a thumbs up. "I'm a-ok, Captain! Just havin' an ole' ponder to myself! Nothing to worry about!" Even he wasn't quite sure what kind of voice he had been going for initially, but what came out was an odd mix of a pirate and a proper british sailor. Not his best work.

"Right," Stan hummed, eyebrow quirked as he observed him. "Anyway, what's your vote? Shawshank Redemption or Pulp Fiction?" 

"Uh, Shawshank Redemption." 

Stan nodded. "That makes three for Shawshank and three for pulp fiction. Mike will have to be the tie breaker when we meet him after school." 

Everyone nodded in agreement, thankfully taking their attention off of Richie as Eddie checked his watch. 

"We still have, like, ten minutes until first period starts," Eddie groaned. "Class haven't even actually started yet and today is already going way too fuckin' slow." He huffed, tapping at the face of his watch impatiently as though it would make the hands move faster. 

Richie watched him out of the corner of his eye, anxiousness blooming deep in the pit of his stomach. He quickly shoved the feeling away, doing his best to bury the feeling as he dramatically threw his arms out to loop around Stan and Eddie's necks and pull them into his sides obnoxiously. 

"Fear not, Spaghetti boy! I'm sure six friends can find some way to pass a couple minutes before class. Why so eager for the day to end, anyway? It's only barely begun! Who knows what treasures and fun awaits us!" 

Stan had pushed Richie's arm off of his shoulders before he had even gotten his second statement out. "What the fuck are you talking about? 'Treasures and fun'? You meant algebra and english lit? I could think of more than a few things I'd rather be doing with my day."

"Ohoho," Richie laughed. "I can also think of things I'd rather be _doing_ , right, Eds?" He grinned stupidly at Eddie, his free hand coming up to ruffle his hair. He pointedly ignored the invasive thoughts of how soft Eddie's hair was and the way it curled around his fingers slightly. 

Richie cleared his throat before continuing. "I mean, I'm sure your mom would agree! She _is_ always first in line when I'm looking for _fun things_ to do." 

Eddie groaned in annoyance, shoving Richie's hand away. "Shut the fuck up, Richie. We're, like, 18 years old and you're still making 'your mom' jokes. Jesus Christ." 

Richie snorted, undeterred by Eddie's protests as he continued. 

"Well, actually, since I _am_ actually 18 now, we don't have to hide our relationship anymore. Actually, Your mother and I were planning to tell you together, but we decided that I'll be moving in soon. Sorry, but you _will_ still have to call me Richie. She might get jealous if you start calling me dad." He laughed at his own joke, elbowing Eddie's side comically.

Eddie shoved Richie away, rubbing his side to soothe the slight ache left there by Richie's boney elbow jabbing into him. "Ow, Jesus, dude, your gangly fuckin limbs are like knives."

Beverly cut in before Richie could retort. "Actually guys, sorry to cut your flirting short but Me, Ben, and Stan have to do a presentation together in first period and we gotta go get our cue cards ready before class starts. So we're gonna have to head to class."

Stan nodded in agreement, glancing at his own watch. "Yeah, we gotta go. See you guys later." The three of them waved goodbye before they turned and started down the hallway towards their shared class.

As they departed, Bill turned to Richie and Eddie with an apologetic look. "S-Speaking of doing things before class- Sorry, guys, B- But I actually have to go grab a b-book from the library for my english class. I'll s-see you guys at lunch."

Richie saluted him somberly. "Godspeed, Denbrough." 

Eddie simply waved. "See you, Bill."

Bill mumbled one last goodbye to the pair of them before slipping into the flow of the hallway and shuffling along with the crowd.

Once he was gone, only Eddie and Richie remained. 

Richie smiled, casually shoving his hands into his pockets. "So, Eds…" He started, shoving down his growing urge to flee. It was just Eddie, after all. "How's it hangin'? Had any fun new adventures?"

"If you count refilling my bullshit prescriptions and having Greta Keene call me a virgin for 15 minutes straight, then sure." Eddie shrugged.

"Hey, at least she was only calling you a virgin and not the local town whore or something, right?" Richie joked, unconsciously stepping a little closer to Eddie now that it was just the two of them.

"There's nothing wrong with being the local town whore, Rich. It's called sex positivity. If I want to be a whore then I can be a whore. Who cares? It's no one's business who decides to embrace being horny sometimes." 

Richie laughed, reaching out to pat Eddie's head. 

"Well then, if you do decide to become the local whore then I'll be sure to be first in line to ride the Kaspbrak Express. After all, who could possibly resist someone as cute as you, Eddie Spaghetti."

Eddie smacked his hand away, rolling his eyes. "Shut up. You know I hate it when you call me that." He did not address Richie's first statement.

Despite Eddie's words, Richie couldn't help but notice the pink tinge dusting his cheeks. It made his chest feel warm, knowing that he had managed to make Eddie blush so easily. He took another step closer without thinking.

Eddie coughed, looking up at Richie who now stood less than a foot away. "What about you? Anything interesting happen over the weekend?"

Richie paused, thinking back to how he had spent the previous two days and what events had transpired during them. Usually, the Losers would be sure to arrange a time and place to hang out over weekends, whether it be the barrens, the quarry, or having a movie night together. The previous weekend, however, everyone had been too busy to find the time to meet up. 

Stan, Bev, and Ben had spent the two days finishing their presentation at the library, Mike had gotten caught up in his work on the farm all weekend, and Bill had agreed to help his dad repaint their living room. Which meant that Richie had had two full days of absolutely nothing to do.

"Not really," Richie mused. "Just spent two cold, lonely days alone in my room. Casually wishing on shooting stars that my knight in shining armor would come rescue me from my boredom. I guess you were too preoccupied, though." He grinned dumbly, nudging Edbie's shoulder. "Get it? 'Cause it's you. You're my knight in shining armor. Like in rapunzel."

Eddie scoffed, rolling his eyes. "I get it, dumbass!" Richie watched in delight as Eddie's blush darkened. "You're an idiot."

"Maybe so. But I'm _your_ idiot. What can I say, you just bring out the best in me." 

"Yeah, right. Whatever you say, Trashmouth." Eddie shook his head, fighting off the smile that was tugging at his lips in an effort to not give Richie the satisfaction of seeing him laugh in response to his jokes. 

Richie let the conversation hang in the air for a moment, shifting on his feet restlessly, seemingly overcome with a sudden wave of nervousness. He shoved his hands into his jean pockets. He did his best to not appear too worried, rocking back on his heels to imitate casualness.

"Right…" Richie muttered finally. His fingers grazed the hard plastic of the tape sitting in his pocket.

He held it for a moment, trying to build up some courage. It was stupid, Richie thought, that it was this hard for him to give something so small to Eddie. He took a breath to calm himself before finally pulling his hand out of his pocket, sticking it straight out to offer the object in his grip to the shorter boy. 

"Here. This is for you."

Eddie's eyebrows furrowed as he reached out, accepting the object Richie was offering him. It was a black cassette tape, the ends of the dark plastic sticking out from the ends of a scrap of paper that was folded carefully around it. He stared at it in his hands for a moment before glancing back up at Richie again, expression hesitant and confused. 

"Is this…..?" Eddie started, taking another quick glance at the item before once again looking up to meet Richie's eyes. "A mixtape?" He blinked, feeling unsure. He was sure his expression displayed just how baffled he was feeling.

Richie felt his heart stutter in his chest as Eddie's eyes met his own, confused yet still as warm as always. One look was all it took to send a shiver throughout Richie's body. Eddie's eyes were another one of Richie's weaknesses, the deep brown color always seemed to draw him in so deep he felt like he might drown in them.

Eddie's eyes managed to capture Richie so quickly and completely that it took a moment before the words actually reached Richie's ears. When they finally did, though, Richie let his mouth twist up into a nervous but toothy smile as he shot Eddie a bashful grin.

"Uh. Yeah." Richie nodded. "I made it for you."

In front of him, Eddie just blinked again, eyebrows furrowing even further in confusion. 

"Huh?" Eddie felt a bit speechless, unsure how he was supposed to react to the turn of events. 

Richie snorted, shoving his hands back into his pockets and rocking on his feet slightly. "Whaddya mean? I just said. It's for you."

Eddie stuttered, trying to get out a coherent response despite the fact that his brain suddenly felt like mush. 

"It's- For-? A _mixtape_? Are you sure?"

"Pretty sure," Richie nodded. "I spent a whole day putting it together. Nothing but the best on there, promise." He hummed, holding up three fingers next to his face. "Scout's honor."

Eddie managed to force out a scoff, his voice sounding choked and bewildered as he barked out an automatic response to Richie's teasing.

"You're not even a scout, dumbass. You can't use that just because Stan does. That's not how it works. He's actually in boy scouts." 

Richie laughed. "Just because I'm not a scout doesn't mean I can make a promise on their honor. Besides, Stan basically made me, like, an honorary scout that time I helped him go bird spotting in the park."

"Fuck off, 'he made you an honorary scout'," Eddie argued, mocking Richie. "All you did was sit there and make bad jokes about the names of the birds from his identification book. I think you actually scared some of the birds away. If anything, you only distracted him when he was trying to do his bird shit." 

Eddie tsked, finally drawing himself out of his shock a bit. "You're changing the subject. What the fuck is this for? Am I gonna listen to it and just hear you fuckin' telling shitty jokes for an hour or something?"

Richie held his hands up as a sign of peace, shaking his head. "No jokes. Just songs. Promise. I wrote all the tracks down on the paper, just in case." 

Eddie scoffed again, deftly unfolding the paper from around the small cassette tape. 

"Just in case, huh?" He muttered to himself, lips pursing as his eyes scanned the neat writing on the page. He squinted at the words scrutinizingly. "1. Oh, Pretty Women by Roy Orbison, 2. The Boys Are Back In Town by Thin Lizzy, 3. Tainted Love by Soft Cell..?" 

He listed as he read them, words dropping off as he focused on reading rather than speaking. He had to reread the list at least four times before he was able to even begin processing the words in his head. 

After a little longer than it probably should've taken, Eddie managed to actually consume the information and keep it in his mind for more than a second. Richie's writing was neat and careful, contrasting with the hurried nature of the torn, slightly crumpled scrap of paper which looked to have been quickly ripped from the page of a standard school notebook that the list had been written on.

A vision flashed through Eddie's mind of Richie hunched over the desk in his room, carefully writing down song titles onto a page that he had probably torn from his math notebook in annoyance after he'd gotten frustrated at a homework equation. The blue ink of the pen Richie had used was dark against the page. The further down the list Eddie read, the more confused he felt. 

The paper in his hands read

_Eddie's Super Special Secret Mix, By Richard Tozier Himself--_

_1\. Oh, Pretty Woman -- Roy Orbison  
2\. The Boys are Back in Town -- Thin Lizzy  
3\. Tainted Love -- Soft Cell  
4\. Sweet Dreams (Are Made of These)  
5\. Kiss From a Rose -- Seal  
6\. Never Gonna Give You Up -- Rick Astley  
7\. Love Shack -- The B-52's  
8\. Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go -- Wham  
9\. Don't You (Forget About Me) -- Simple Minds  
10\. I Wanna Dance With Somebody -- Whitney Houston  
11\. Take On Me -- A-Ha  
12\. Total Eclipse of the Heart -- Bonnie Tyler  
13\. Can You Feel the Love Tonight -- Elton John  
14\. Follow Through_

_Copyrighted © as a Trashmouth Records Official Mix_

"I still don't get it," Eddie proclaimed, finally tearing his gaze off the paper. "Why did you make this to give to me?" 

Richie shrugged nonchalantly, pretending as though his heart _didn't_ feel like it was about to fall right out of his chest. "Listen to it and find out. I worked hard to decide on which songs to include, y'know. So you better actually listen to it! It's only kind, as the recipient of such a gift, to actually use said gift as intended."

"Right…" Eddie muttered, trying to glean any information he can from Richie's note. His eyes caught on the final track on the list.

"'Follow Through'? I've never heard of that one. Who sings it?" Eddie questioned, running his thumb over the neat writing. "It doesn't say like it does with the rest."

Richie grinned bashfully in response, hooking his thumbs under the collar of his loose hawiian shirt, popping it up slightly in a gesture of pride. 

"Why actually, Edward, that one is a Richie 'Showbiz' Tozier original. Just for you. Crazy that I'm just giving away my talent for free, but that's just how far I'll go for ya."

Eddie snorted, shooting Richie a disbelieving look. "You? You wrote a _song_? And recorded it? And put it on a mixtape? A mixtape that you're giving to _me_?" 

"Sure did." Richie beamed, reaching over to ruffle Eddie's hair yet again, earning an annoyed grunt and a swat to the shoulder in return.

"Fuck _off_ , stop messing up my hair, god damn." He tsked, reaching up to push the misplaced strands back off of his forehead. He huffed a bit, eyeing Richie and the nervous energy surrounding him. "If I listen to it will you stop acting all weird?"

Nodding, Richie gave him a reassuring grin and a thumbs up. "Anything for you, Sir Edward." He bowed dramatically, making Eddie roll his eyes.

"Sure, Rich. Whatever you say. I think the bell rang, like, 3 minutes ago, so. I have to go before I'm late. I'll listen to it during my shift at work or something."

Richie just nodded, swallowing his heart back down from where it threatened to slip out of his mouth. "Enjoy it, Spaghetti!" He leaned down, making a show of dramatically pressing a big wet kiss to Eddie's forehead.

Eddie yelped, hand immediately coming up to wipe at the place of contact. "Gross, Richie! You basically just slobbered all over me!"

"Ain't that the dream," Richie laughed loudly. "Would absolutely _love_ to stay and chat until the tardy bell rings, but if I'm late one more time I think my teacher is gonna have a coronary. So, I gotta run! See you in class, Eds!" He gave Eddie one last pat on the shoulder before turning on his heel and all but sprinting down the hallway.


	2. Working On It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone whos following/commented/left kudos/ whatever!! It really helps me know that you guys wanna see more! :) anyway apologies if this chapter feels a bit rushed and weird djdhshhdhd i was once again very high during the entire writing and editing process so i cant say for sure how understandable any of this is. But you guys asked for more, so here you go!

As Eddie went through the motions of his school day, he found himself feeling more baffled with each minute that passed. When he had not come to school that morning he had not been expecting to suddenly receive a cryptic mixtape from one of his best friends. 

He had _definitely_ not expected said mixtape to come from the only one of his best friends that had an annoying tendency to make him feel as though he might go into cardiac arrest every time their hands grazed each other accidentally when they were walking too close. He was the one friend that, with barely any effort, was able to make Eddie blush so hard he thought he might die. The same man that also consistently irritated him to no end. Every single day. Richie Tozier.

If someone had asked Eddie to make a list of people that he expected to possibly make a mixtape for him, Richie would have been pretty damn low on it. That is, if he had even thought to include Richie on it at all. Needless to say, Eddie was feeling pretty confused about the whole situation.

As he sat in his geology class 15 minutes before the bell dismissing them to lunch was set to ring, Eddie was feeling so wound up he thought he might go crazy. He was sure he was annoying everyone around him with the way his knee was bouncing nonstop and how he periodically fidgeted in his seat.

He had endless questions running through his mind that he just couldn't seem to tune out. Were the songs Richie had chosen meant to have some kind of meaning behind them? Was this all just some weird elaborate set up for a stupid joke that Richie had planned? How long had Richie genuinely spent making this tape? What was with the song that Richie supposedly recorded himself? 

Eddie let out a small sigh to himself, slouching down in his seat as he watched the second hand of the clock tick by. 

He was starting to get a headache.

He grimaced, deciding to ignore his intrusive thoughts for now and instead attempt to actually pay attention and copy down the notes they were going over. 

When the lunch bell finally did ring, Eddie's body kicked into autopilot. He swiftly gathered his stuff off of the surface of his desk and tossed it all back into his backpack, zipping it up. He immediately slung the bag over his shoulder as he stood from his desk, quickly falling into place alongside the flood of his other classmates as they all filed out of the door and towards the cafeteria.

It didn't take him long to reach the lunchroom and quickly locate the rest of his friends where they were all sitting around a round lunch table.

Unfortunately for Eddie, however, the actual lunch period didn't go all too well due to the fact that Eddie immediately found himself once again only focusing on Richie. Funnily enough, Richie actually spent the entire lunch period acting as though nothing had ever happened. Eddie noted that he pointedly did not mention tape at all during the groups' shared lunch period.

In fact, Richie avoided the topic so much so that even when Eddie _had_ attempted to bring the matter up in search of some answers, Richie immediately cut him off, quickly drowning out Eddie's inquiries with corny jokes that were rattled off with just a little too much enthusiasm. 

Unsurprisingly enough, Richie managed to keep up this behavior for the entire meal time, meaning Eddie had to endure the entire period sitting mere inches away from the boy who had so easily managed to consume all of his thoughts and still not get even a hint of an explanation from him.

By the time their lunch period finally ended, Eddie found that his feelings were gradually shifting from overwhelming confusion to irritated annoyance. This was not uncommon when it came to matters involving Richie. As he sat through his remaining 3 classes for the day, Eddie's irritation about the matter only grew. At some point in the day he'd decided that Richie had probably just filled the tape up with nothing but audio of himself telling shitty jokes about his mother and anything else he could manage to come up with. He figured the whole thing was just meant to mess with him, the very possibility of it only annoying Eddie further.

Eddie pondered over the matter to himself as he worked on an algebra worksheet in his 6th period class of the day. Richie did always seem to prefer messing with Eddie more than any of the other losers, which, strangely enough, Eddie found himself realising he didn't usually mind all that much. This joke, however, seemed like a lot more trouble than it was worth in Eddie's mind.

He never really understood why Richie felt like he needed to always be doing _something_ to him, whether it was a stupid joke being made at Eddie expense, an overdramatic arm being tossed over his shoulders, or a hand ruffling his hair, the lanky boy always managed to find a direct line to Eddie's nerves, more often than not using it to draw out the shorter boys annoyance. 

He was astoundingly good at both finding and immediately pushing all of Eddie's buttons needed to get him worked up. Although if Eddie was being honest with himself, he'd always kind of enjoyed the way Richie was so good at getting to him. Even when he was sad or scared, Richie could draw him out of it simply by irritating the shit out of him. He kind of appreciated it, too, in a way. No matter what he was feeling or what was going on in his life, he could always count on Richie being able to change up his mood in a second. 

By the time Eddie made it to his final class of the day, he found that the irritation that had been swirling in his chest since lunch was unwittingly morphing into a blossom of hope. 

Though he would never admit it, Eddie realized that he had actually found himself far less irritated with Richie constant jabs and teasing recently, and he instead found himself actually _lingering_ on them in a strange way. Often he found that he actually wouldn't feel angry at all when he and Richie were arguing with each other as they usually did, instead he noticed the familiar interactions merely gave him a vague fluttering feeling in his chest. Sometimes, Richie's taunts and teases even made him feel warm. 

Eddie found himself pondering the way that Richie would sometimes let his fingers trace over the skin of his arm, his touch lingering on him for just a little longer than necessary after he would help haul him up the ladder out of the club house. He also couldn't help but think about the way that even such a small action was enough to send his mind reeling, the path of Richie's fingers over his skin somehow seeming to burn where they touched. It made Eddie feel butterflies erupt in his stomach every time it happened. 

Eddie wasn't stupid. He knew that _usually_ mixtapes were something that people made for their crush or significant other as a way of saying 'hey, these stupid mushy love songs made me think of you, because the way I feel about you is also stupid and mushy'. He also realised that a significant amount of the songs listed on Richie's tape were pretty heavily romance/love oriented in some way or another. But something in Eddie's mind simply wouldn't allow him to accept it as a real possibility. An overbearing chunk of his mind told him that the possibility of Richie having a crush on him was impossible and that he was simply being an idiot about an otherwise regular situation. 

But even so, just the fact that Richie had taken the time to not only put together a mixtape, but to also include a song that he admitted he had written and sang himself was enough to make Eddie's knees feel weak. 

He absently noted the warm feeling of hope enveloping his chest as he allowed himself to indulge in the thought for even just a moment. He allowed himself a single guilty moment of excitement, a surge of heat flaring in his chest as his mind flashed with the idea of Richie liking him. After that moment, however, Eddie quickly forced the emotions back down, shoving them back under the lock and key they lived under in his mind. He decided it was probably in his best interest to avoid the thought as well as the feelings it caused.

By the time school was finally let out for the day, Eddie Kaspbrak was simply feeling light headed as he followed the flow of students out of the front doors of the school, his cheeks burning absently as he felt his usual nervousness edging its way into his mind.

Eddie was, to say the least, very anxious to get around to listening to the cassette tape. He felt it sitting faithfully in his pocket as he pulled his bike from the rack in front of the school, wasting no time in setting off down the street towards the barrons.

Now on a usual day, Eddie would have hung around the front of the school until Bill and Richie emerged from the doors, the pair of them often coming out still discussing whatever had been going on in their shared final class of the day. Eddie would usually join up with them at the bike rack, him and Bill unlocking their bikes from the rack together as Richie unsuccessfully tried his best to convince Eddie to ride in his car with him instead of biking all the way to wherever their groups' meeting spot of the day was. 

"C'mon, Eds, it'll be better for your legs to take a break! I'll even let you pick the music!" Richie would offer, goofy grin fixed on his face as he towered over Eddie.

"And leave my bike in front of the school all afternoon? No thanks," Eddie would respond. "Knowing this town I would come back to it all fucked up by Bowers' stupid gang of jackasses. If it was even still there at all." 

"Strap it to the top of the car like the Griswolds," Richie always countered, nudging Eddie's side. "It'll be fine."

Eddie's response was always the same. "No way, dumbass. I am not risking my bike slipping off the top of your car and hitting the driver behind you. Do you know how much you would have to pay in reparations if you fucked up someone else's car like that?" And every time, Richie would always let out a laugh in response as though they hadn't repeated the same conversation every day since the beginning of the school year, and every time Eddie's heart would skip a beat in response. 

Today, however, was not like usual. Eddie made it to the Barrons ten minutes earlier than he would've had he waited for Bill and Richie. 

He took a deep breath, blowing it out slowly in an attempt to calm his racing thoughts as he dropped his bike next to where Mike's was already haphazardly dropped on the ground at their usual spot. He felt a little more normal as he shuffled over to the small familiar hatch hidden in the forest floor, jumping down the ladder so fast that he may as well not have used it to begin with. 

Mike looked up at him as he landed on the floor of the club house with a light thump. 

"Hey, Eddie," Mike greeted from where he was sitting on an overturned crate, book in hand. "How was school?"

Eddie let out a groan in response, immediately beelining for the hammock. "Very confusing and stressful," he responded. "Richie gave me a mixtape." He hadn't really been able to actually mention it to any of the others yet since Richie had kept interrupting him before he managed to get the words out during lunch.

Mike seemed a little caught off guard at the blunt statement, but he also somehow didn't seem too surprised. "What, like, a real one?"

Eddie nodded. "I think so? It seemed pretty normal, I guess? Although one of the songs on there he said he wrote himself? Which is… something."

"That _is_ something," Mike agreed. "Have you listened to it yet?" 

"Not yet. I guess I'm gonna listen to it at work when I'm stocking. Unless that would be weird? Do you think I should wait until I get home to listen to it?" Eddie fretted, clambering into the hammock which swung lightly as he lifted his legs into it. "I don't know why I'm making such a big deal about it. Friends give each other shit like mixtapes all the time, right? It doesn't have to mean anything weird. It's just a list of stupid songs. Of course it doesn't mean anything, I mean, why would it? I-"

"Eddie," Mike cut him off, giving him an amused smile. "Calm down. Just listen to it first, then talk to him if you're still confused." He paused, considering his next words. "It's okay if you do, y'know. Want it to mean something, that is. If that helps."

Eddie's eyes widened at him slightly, the briefest hint of fear shining through in his eyes. "What? That's ridiculous! Why would I-" he trailed off a bit, suddenly unable to meet Mike's gaze. It felt like he could see right into his brain sometimes. "I can't want it. Of course not. I mean, what if I'm wrong? I really don't know if I could handle it, Mike."

Eddie's heart twisted painfully as he imagined getting his hopes up only for them to be brutally torn down by something going wrong and him discovering he had been reading all the signs wrong. For Richie to find out about Eddie's deepest urges and wishes that he wouldn't even allow himself to think about, and then for him to laugh at him or worse, make fun of him for feeling such a way. He wasn't sure he could recover from such a blow. God forbid Richie finds out and has an even worse reaction, like suddenly realizing he hated him or something.

"Eddie," Mike spoke firmly. "I can see you thinking. It's okay. Sometimes, the right thing to do is to just let yourself give in to what your heart is telling you. Just follow your instincts. You'll make it through, no matter what happens. And Richie will _always_ be there for you. No matter what."

It was amazing how Mike seemed to dispel his worries with so few sentences. Eddie nodded, a surge of appreciation for his friend hitting him as his rushing thoughts were soothed momentarily by the reassurance. 

"Thanks, Mike. Really. You always somehow know what to say." Eddie allowed himself to just swing lightly in the hammock for a moment, eyes closed as he composed himself. The pair sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, the only sound the rhythmic creaking of the hammock as it swung.

Eddie's watch beeped suddenly, drawing his attention. "Ah, shit. My shift starts soon, guess I don't have time to wait for everyone to get here before I go. Sorry, Mike, tell everyone I said I'll see 'em tomorrow." 

Mike nodded, waving Eddie off as he rolled out of the hammock and made his way back up the ladder out of the club house. "See ya' later, Eddie," he called. "Good luck! Make reasonable choices."

Eddie snorted to himself from the top of the ladder, pausing to glance back at his friend. "You sound like Ben. I'll be fine. When Richie gets here tell him I said he's an idiot."

"Of course."

Eddie nodded gratefully, finishing his climb up the ladder and carefully flipping the hatch back closed before heading over to retrieve his bike and start making his way towards his place of work.

\---------

Eddie had been working the same job on and off at a locally owned gas station for the past three years. Thankfully for Eddie it was a fairly easy job in the way of how hard the work was. The most heavy labor he had to do on any given shift was taking out the trash or restocking the drink coolers. The only really taxing part of the job was having to deal with entitled customers.

He locked his bike up on the rack outside near the staff entrance, already pulling his backpack off his shoulders as he typed in the door code and pushed his way inside. He clocked in, hastily tossing his bag into one of the small lockers that was provided for the staff in the back room. 

"Eddie!" A voice called out to him from the doorway leading out to the actual store. Eddie looked up from where he was pushing the locker closed to see Barbara, one of his coworkers.

Barabra was almost 50, having spent the last 7 years of her life consistently working 5 days a week at the gas station. Over the years she had managed to work her way up the ranks to become shift manager, as well as becoming a close friend with the owners. She was a very kind woman, always being sure to schedule Eddie's shifts around school and holidays as he needed. She was also very understanding of whenever Eddie has to occasionally quit working for a few months or so in order to focus more on school, always making sure that he knows that he can come back and start working again any time he wanted. Eddie really appreciated that from her.

"Hi," Eddie greets. "Sorry I'm a little late. I was talking to a friend and time kinda got away from me."

Barbara chuckled, waving his words off with a smile. "Don't worry about it! I know what it's like to be a teenager in highschool. I used to be at _least_ an hour late to the job I had when I was your age. It's a wonder I worked there as long as I did." She laughed again, this time more to herself. "Anyway, I was gonna tell ya' that we just got in the new orders, so I can handle the register if you wanna start working on pricing everything and stocking the new stuff on the shelves."

Eddie nodded, following her back out to the register and grabbing the pricing gun from behind the counter. 

"The boxes are already out there, along with the pricing sheet," Barbara informed him. "Just holler if you get too bored and wanna switch." 

"I will. Thanks, Barbara." Eddie gave her a smile and then turned to head over to the awaiting boxes stacked in the isles of candies and chips. 

Most days working at the gas station consisted of a standard routine, Eddie would spend most of his shift restocking the drinks and candy and making sure the floors are swept and counters wiped while a coworker manned the front register, only occasionally switching out if one of them got especially bored or particularly annoyed with dealing with customers. On especially slow days, Eddie was given permission to entertain himself as he stocked shelves, which mostly meant he would listen to music on a walkman that Ben had given him for his birthday.

Eddie quickly realised an hour into his shift when they had had maybe 3 customers total that today just so happened to be one of those particularly slow days. It wasn't much longer after that when Barbara gave him permission to retrieve his walkman. 

As Eddie headed back to grab the aforementioned device from his locker, he found himself falling into his thoughts. Normally Eddie would just listen to whatever tape Beverly had lent him for the week, which was usually whatever new album she had become interested in and managed to get her hands on. This week, it was the new Green Day album. 

He pulled the headphones over his head to rest on his neck once he retrieved the device, staring down at where it sat in his hand. Beverly's tape was already waiting inside it, no doubt still in the middle of whatever song Eddie had been on during his last shift. He knew the album pretty well by now, just as he did every other album he had been listening to on repeat during work. He liked Green day, Eddie thought idly to himself while trying to ignore the tugging at the back of his mind as the presence of the tape Richie had given him seemed to burn him through his pocket.

He weighed his options in his head, the thought of actually listening to the tape spawning a horde of butterflies deep in his stomach. He felt nervous at the idea of it, even more so at the implications of such an action. 

Eddie dismissed the butterflies just as quickly as they appeared, reminding himself that it was still more than likely just another one of Richie's jokes done in extrordinarily poor taste. 

He scoffed to himself, retroactively feeling the familiar ball of irritation that always seemed to bloom in his chest whenever Richie was doing something that Eddie found particularly infuriating. He huffed slightly, pausing to scold the small part of his brain that still tingled with hope as he pulled the plastic tape from his pocket. Before he could give it another thought he ejected the Green Day tape, quickly replacing it with Richie's tape and then slipping the old one into his pocket. He clicked the device shut, only hesitating for a moment longer before heading back out of the break room in order to resume stocking the shelves in the main store.

He took a deep breath as he reached the various plastic totes full of merchandise that were stacked in the isles. 

_'Get it together, Eddie'_ , he thought to himself. _'It's just a tape. The only way to resolve your stupid feelings is to listen to it.'_ He took a calming breath, reaching down to click the play button of the walkman and then quickly getting to work with stocking, hoping that the physical movement might help calm his nerves that grew with each second he grew closer to facing the mixtape.

As the first song started, _'Oh, Pretty Women' by Roy Orbison_ , Eddie idly recalled, he found himself thinking less about the song flowing through his ears and instead his mind drifting to Richie. 

As he robatically priced bags of chips and lined them up on the shelves, He found that he could practically _see_ Richie sitting in his room listening to this song. He could envision easily Richie sitting in bed, either reading comics or quietly playing with his guitar as the music played from the secondhand cassette player he had snagged from the pawn shop softly in the background. 

It was a sight Eddie knew well. He had seen it countless times in the past when he would sneak over at night or when he was lonely or bored and just needed to be away from his own house. It was also a sight that never failed to captivate him every time he was privileged enough to see it. The way that Richie always seemed to have his curtains open drove Eddie insane, leaving him to silently suffer the way his heart reacted to the way various lightings would play across his skin depending on the time of day he visited.

Whether it be the middle of the day, when the sunlight would beam into his room and hit him in such a way that it would perfectly light up the strands of his hair and reflect off his eyes in bright yellows and oranges, or in the middle of the night, when the light of the moon would do just the same, this time making Richie's smooth skin seem to glow a soft white. Eddie could admit that the sunlight made Richie look beautiful, but it was the moonlight against his skin that made Eddie's heart twist particularly hard when it was lighting up Richie's skin. The pale colors of the moonlight always seemed like they were tangled up within Richie's hair, like they were being absorbed into the strands and lighting him up from within. In the sunlight, Richie was beautiful. In the moonlight, however, he was downright _etheral_ in Eddie's eyes.

Of course, Eddie never got to ogle Richie's looks for very long before he noticed Eddie where he was standing in his doorway or tapping at his window. Richie would always look up to greet him as loudly as ever, all excitement and jokes and that big crooked grin that seemed to be etched into Eddie's brain forever. Welcoming him into his space with no questions asked.

As the second song on the mixtape ended and the next one began, Eddie quickly shook himself out of his thoughts, annoyed that he had allowed his brain to get so carried away and miss some of the music in his mental absence. He tried to focus on the song that was playing, letting the funky melodies and catchy beats flow through his mind as he continued working.

The farther into the tape Eddie got, however, the harder it was for him to ignore the hot, all encompassing warmth creeping into his chest. The more he listened, the more he realised the common theme between all the songs on the tape, making Eddie's head spin. It seemed like each new song just piled more and more pressure into Eddie's chest, _'Tainted Love'_ and _'Total Eclipse of the Heart'_ in particular had Eddie feeling like someone lit a fire in his lungs. 

With each song, Eddie felt the hopeful and anxious part of his brain grow bigger and bigger as he realised that the tape might not exactly be the joke that he had convinced himself it would be. By the time he got to the penultimate song of the tape, Eddie had grown so nervous that his hands were shaking, forcing him to pause momentarily in his attempts at lining up the rows of candy he had just stocked. He took a breath, doing his best to steady his hands. 

_'This is ridiculous'_ , Eddie thought to himself. _'I should not be getting my hopes up just because Richie gave me a fucking mix tape. For god's sake, he put the lion king song on it. That's clearly just him being an idiot like usual.'_ Somehow, his thoughts did very little to quell the bubbly feeling in his stomach as the song slowly came to a close. 

Eddie's breath hitched as the final and most anticipated song of the tape started up, the soothing easy strum of a ukulele and acoustic guitar drawing him in immediately. Eddie felt his mouth start to dry up a little. He was sure he would probably look crazy to anyone that enters the store for gas and snacks when they go to browse the shelves for candy only to find some ratty teenager frozen in place mid-stock on the shelves.

As soon as Eddie heard Richie's voice- his real genuine singing voice, soft and flowing in Eddie's ears just as it always was- He jolted suddenly, abruptly dropping the bag of chips he had been pricing and ripping the headphones off, scrambling to get at the walkman clipped to his work apron and pause the tape. 

Once he'd stopped it successfully after a few moments of fumbling at the device with shaking hands, Eddie just stood there, mind suddenly buzzing with a million new thoughts. He needed to think.

Of the few moments of Richie's song he'd heard before panicking and pausing it, the song had seemed to be sincere. Sincere in a way Eddie only saw in Richie on very few, very special occasions, like when he's playing his guitar and thinks Eddie isn't paying attention or when he's talking about something he really likes. It was a sincerity Eddie knew couldn't be faked.

The thought made Eddie's heart twist. This was not what Eddie had been prepared for. He wasn't sure he could listen to Richie's song. At the very least not right now, anyway. He really wasn't sure what was going to happen when he _did_ listen to it. 

He might vomit. Or pass out. Or even _cry_. God, he could _not_ cry at work. How _embarrassing_. There was no way he would possibly be able to explain it if Richie's mixtape made him cry at work. 

What could he say to possibly get out of it? The truth? _'Sorry, I was just crying because the guy i like sang me a song on a mixtape he made for me, and it made me feel like I was going to explode?'_ No thanks. 

Eddie sighed. He supposed he really had no choice. He would have to wait until after he's done with work to finish the tape. He told himself that it was fine that he had to wait at least another four hours of work before he could finish it, even if he did currently feel like the world might end if he didn't finish it right now. He could wait a few hours. Of course. No problem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It might be a few days until the next chapter is up due to the fact that i still have quite a bit of editing to do and im still doing it all while high just to see how it turns out skdhshhsx you can expect the next chapter probably at some point in the next 2-4 days. Feedback much appreciated! If there are any blatantly obvious grammar/other errors in the chapter feel free to let me know so i can go back and correct any mistakes i missed! :)


	3. The Song

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit shorter than the other chapters and also probably once again pretty rushed, but next chapter we finally get to all the sickly gay mushy shit im sure everyone is here for

Richie was feeling a little queasy. He, as well as the rest of the losers (minus Eddie), had spent roughly two or three hours in the clubhouse after school, as per usual. In those hours, Richie had spent his entire evening alternating between reading comics in the hammock and absolutely talking Stan and Mike's ears off about everything and nothing. 

At one point, in the midst of Richie's incredibly deep in-detail recollection of one time when he'd seen two toads accidentally kiss because they were both after the same moth, Stanley had taken the initiative of interrupting to ask Richie if his somehow more annoying than usual behavior was the result of him finally giving a certain someone a certain tape with a certain song on it, to which Richie responded in kind by completely ignoring him, resuming his story and earning a knowing look in response. 

A little while after that, however, once everyone had begun taking their leave for the day due to various homework and part time job related activities, Richie did stop Stan, calling him over to speak privately before he left. He did take the time to apologize briefly for how he'd been acting, eventually admitting that Stan had, in fact, been correct in his assumption as to why he was acting especially obnoxious. Stan, of course, responded with an absolute lack of surprise, informing him that he had figured that was the case. 

Richie had been about to drop the matter and let Stan go, but then he paused. Richie thought back to the remained of their conversation.

"It's just-" he'd started, maintaining Stan's attention for a bit longer. "What if…" he hesitated, nerves and anxiety pulsing in his brain. "What if he doesn't- What if he isn't-... What if it's… bad?" 

Stan lifted a hand, waving off the thought before Richie could say any more. "It won't be. Trust me, okay? It'll be good. No matter what _it_ turns out to be." Stan made sure to meet Richie's eyes as he continued. "I know it's scary, but things are gonna work out in the end. I know it."

Richie let out a shuddering breath that he hadn't realised he'd been holding. Stan's words seemed to suck the stress out of his body like a straw. He felt grateful that Stan was his friend and also for the way that he always seemed to know exactly what to say when Richie needed him. 

"Thanks," Richie muttered. "For real. And thanks for your help on- y'know." He waved his hand in the air idly, motioning to nothing in particular.

Stan just snickered, giving Richie a vaguely cocky grin. "Someone had to help you or else you never would've done it. No problem, Dude. I'm glad you're finally going through with it."

Stan gave Richie one last hug before ascending the ladder to the surface, leaving only Richie and his thoughts alone in the clubhouse. He didn't stay for much longer, only spending enough time to finish the last comic he had been reading before heading up the ladder himself and making his way home. 

To Richie, the rest of the afternoon had mostly been just a bit of a blur. The drive to his house had been mostly muscle memory, his mind far too preoccupied with other things to truly focus on driving. Before he knew it, he found himself sitting in his room, too distracted to do anything more than toss around an old stress ball as he sat around, stuck deep in his own thoughts.

Eventually, he realised that all the thinking and agonizing was gonna do for him was give him a stomach ache and make him feel nervous. After all, the only thing he could do at this point was wait. What he was waiting for, he wasn't exactly sure. He knew he was waiting for Eddie to listen to the tape, but as for what would happen after he did that, Richie had no idea.

He hadn't really considered it when he'd given him the tape in all honesty. It's not like they had agreed to meet up somewhere in the dead of night and discuss Eddie's results. Hell, Richie didn't even know if Eddie would get around to listening to it that day. He might be waiting a _few_ days or even maybe weeks before Eddie had time. He might not even listen to it at all, for all Richie knew. Maybe he would just pretend he did and lie, telling Richie that it was 'nice' or 'cool' or some other bland generic descriptor. 

Maybe Eddie _would_ listen to it but not understand what Richie was trying to say, though Richie thought it would be kinda impossible to not to. Richie had really gone to town with the playlist he'd made. He was surprised Eddie hadn't figured it out just from the song list alone. Almost every song on it was blatantly alluding to one overarching topic. Some of the song titles even had the word Love right there in it. Richie pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to will away some of the stress his brain was causing.

Eventually Richie decided to give up worrying, pushing it to the back of his mind as he tried to find something to do with himself for the remainder of his day.

\----------

By the time the end of Eddie's shift approached, he found himself really rushing to get the end of the night cleaning and locking up done, even more so than he usually did. Ever since he'd switched back to bev's tape and gotten back to work, he'd been feeling like someone had really lit a fire under him. His body felt warm like it burned, his face especially, which no doubt also meant that he had had a god awful blush on his face all day. He was also feeling a little sweaty and gross, due to the combined effects of his wild emotions and the physical aspect of cleaning up the store at the end of the night.

By the time he was finally clocking out and waving goodbye to Barbara, Eddie had never felt so relieved that the work day was over. He was also desperately longing for a shower. 

_'A cold one might even be nice right now'_ , he thought to himself as he biked home. God knows he doesn't need his mother potentially seeing him even red faced in the slightest, let alone clammy and as red as an apple as he was sure he looked at the moment. 

He shook the thought off, trying to focus on the cool wind blowing against his cheeks as he rolled down a hill. He spent the rest of the ride to his house watching his surroundings slide past him, setting all his attention on the moonlight reflecting off the asphalt of the road and the water that was trailing through the ditches and sitting in puddles, purposefully pushing away all other thoughts to the back of his mind until he'd at least finally had a shower.

He thankfully managed to avoid his mother when he arrived home, hopping up the stairs as quickly and quietly as he could. He tossed his backpack onto his bed once he reached his room, grabbing a towel and some fresh clothes to sleep in.

The cool water of the shower felt absolutely amazing against his skin as it washed away all the sweat and grime of the day, even taking some of his muddled thoughts down the drain with it. By the time he got out and got dressed, he was feeling great. Cooler, calmer, and most importantly _cleaner_. He'd even almost managed to think about something other than Richie song as he brushed his teeth. But only almost. 

As he returned to his room and pulled on some fuzzy socks, however, he found that he understood the term 'heart in your throat' more than he ever had before. He felt like his heart might slip out of his mouth if he let his apprehension build up any further. He took a deep breath to himself as he finally retrieved the tape from his discarded jean pocket, deftly slipping it back into the walkman he'd brought back home with him from work. 

He slipped the headphones back up over his ears, clicking the lights off and sliding into his bed, curling up against his pile of pillows and pressing himself into the corner of the mattress, back firmly pressed against the wall. He took a moment to himself as he looked up at the ceiling of his room which was illuminated only by the soft glow of the lava lamp that they'd won at the annual fair sitting on his desk in the opposite corner.

He finally hit the play button, doing his best to let his mind go blank save for the gentle tunes pouring into his ears. 

It started with a simple melody- a guitar and a ukulele strumming together made the majority of the instrumental track. From that, Eddie felt calmed by the tune, almost warmed. And then. And then Richie started singing. His voice practically leaked sincerity with each syllable as the song progressed. 

The very sound of his voice had Eddie immediately feeling winded, lightheaded, and yet inexplicably fuzzy on the inside. Each note wrapped around Eddie's heartstrings, gripping them tight. Eddie listened to the words carefully.

_"Spent the first couple days_

_Meeting resistance-_

_before I met your gaze"_

_The silver glint, of steel and flint-_

_Sparked from your eyes_

_And I, seem to be in a haze-_

_Entranced with how the light plays"  
_

Eddie thought he had to be dreaming. He could barely think, his head felt like he was swimming through a fog of static.

_  
"Within your hair, a love affair-_

_Of fireflies"  
_

He noted that he felt vaguely light head.

_  
"And I'll make you happy, hon-_

_If you let me feel a ray of your sun_

_And although this promise to you-_

_Might seem hollow-_

_I will follow through-"  
_

Eddie felt something in him snap suddenly and without warning a wave of all encompassing emotion washed over him. Affection and gentle adoration blooming deep in his chest, spreading down his limbs and all the way down to his toes. For once, he didn't try to stop it.

_  
"Laugh and rewind-_

_When you smile at me you know I can't be unkind-_

_A bit crabby, I may well be-_

_But that won't stay, hey-_

_I think you will find-_

_That the freckles that speckle your back can't help but_

_remind-_

_Me of the night, the pale moonlight-_

_Shined off the bay,"  
_

Eddie had never quite felt the emotion he was experiencing at that moment. he was at such a loss for thoughts and words, all he could feel was the weight of the song, what each lyric meant and the knowledge that Richie was saying such things _for him_. It was overwhelming. He felt petrified.

_  
"I'll make you happy, hon-_

_If you let me feel a ray of your sun_

_And although this promise to you-_

_Might seem hollow-_

_I will follow through-_

_And I'll make you happy, hon_

_If you let me feel a ray of your sun_

_And although this promise to you-_

_Might seem hollow-_

_I will follow through."_

  
As the song finally ended, the vocals and the instrumentals rolling to a gentle close, the way Eddie was feeling was fairly indescribable. It felt surreal, almost. Like there was no way something like this could actually happen in real life. Especially to him. And _especially_ from Richie. 

Richie. 

The way Eddie felt about him was so complicated, and annoying, and _scary_. Especially after he'd felt the need to pull this god damn mixtape stunt. Eddie made a mental note to beat Richie's ass for choosing to go about this by using a stupid sappy mixtape. 

Eddie had known he was in love with Richie in some way or another for a long time. How could he not- he wasn't stupid. He knew it wasn't just a regular friendly thing for you to yearn to kiss and hold and _be with_ one of your best friends. After all, he had watched Ben do that exact same thing over Beverley every day in middle school. Of course Eddie knew he loved Richie in a different kind of way to all of his other friends.

He'd never allowed himself to even _consider_ that Richie might feel the same way before. He'd been far too scared that if he _were_ to consider it, he would be that much more devastated when the truth got out and he was inevitably rejected, his heart and hopes crashed and burned around him.

And now, all at once, Eddie's fears and hopes and wishes all came crashing down on him. He didn't know what to do with himself. He wasn't sure what to do. His emotions swirled around inside him, practically eating him up. He was terrified, and swooning, and in love. He thought he might suffocate just from the feeling of it. He felt dazed. 

It was when the realization that what he had just listened to was real finally clicked in his head that he finally snapped into action, yanking his headphones off and kicking his blankets off of himself. He tossed the device aside blindly, suddenly determined to carry out the only thought he could muster.

_' I need to find Richie'_

He slipped his shoes on, bounding out of his room, down the stairs, and swiftly out of the front door. He figured his mom must've been asleep, or at the very least she somehow didn't see him leave. Or maybe she did. Eddie honestly wasn't sure he would've noticed if she had. He grabbed his bike from where he had previously abandoned it in his driveway, hopping on it with a practiced efficiency as he swiftly headed down the street towards Richie's house.


	4. Stalemate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter. What can i say. Its just a ton of gay shit i wrote while high. mushy as fuck. Godspeed.

Richie wasn't entirely sure what to think when he found Eddie tapping at his bedroom window at one in the morning. When he saw Eddie's face staring back at him through the glass he had to take a moment to still his racing heart, anxiety shooting through him at the way Eddie's expression hardened when their eyes met.

Richie quickly hurried over to open his window so that Eddie could crawl in.

"Well, well, well," Richie drawled, hopping back from the window a little farther than was strictly necessary as Eddie hauled himself inside, tumbling gently onto the floor. He looked up at Richie from the floor, making Richie's breath catch in his throat. 

"To what do I owe the delight of your visit, hm Kaspbrak?" Richie muttered jokingly, voice a little more rough than he would've preferred. "Not often you come 'round these parts."

Eddie coughed out a laugh as he sorted himself out, climbing to his feet easily.

"I think we have some things to discuss," Eddie said, stepping closer to Richie as he looked up to catch the other boy's eyes. "I'm sure you already knew that, though."

Richie's mouth felt dry as he and Eddie locked eyes, drawing Richie into the dark glint shining from within them. It was as though he could see right past them, directly into Eddie's soul. It scared him a little, if he were being honest with himself. It made him feel like Eddie was trusting him with something deep and secret, known only to the two of them. Richie had to clear his throat quickly before he spoke again.

"Oh?" Richie intoned, voice dripping innocence. "Something to discuss you say? Like what? Did your mom finally break the news that we got engaged?"

Eddie was absolutely astounded that Richie was still making _your mom_ jokes at a time like this. He was not, however, surprised by it.

He couldn't help but roll his eyes out of reflex. Once again, Richie proved that his ability to annoy the shit out of him never stopped, even during decidedly _important_ conversations.

"Yeah," Richie continued, only encouraged by Eddie's eye roll. "So I am actually gonna be your stepdad now. And I will be making the sweetest love to your mother every night."

Eddie couldn't hold back a snort, biting back his laughter quickly, beginning to feel vaguely manic. " _Richie_ ," he gasped, voice comically indignant. "Can you shut the fuck up for like a _second_?" 

Richie saluted him. "Sir yes sir."

Eddie ignored him, taking another step closer. Richie took a step back. Eddie took another step in response. Richie didn't move. Eddie watched his adams apple bob in his throat as he swallowed nervously.

Richie shifted uncomfortably on his feet, unable to keep his mouth closed for so long with so much tension in the air around them. "Uh-" 

"Rich." Eddie cut him off, taking yet another step forward. Richie immediately snapped his mouth shut as he took another step backwards in alarm, the back of his legs hitting the bed and giving him no room of escape. Eddie's eyes were piercing as he met his gaze once again. "I listened to it." 

Richie's eyes widened despite the fact that he had already figured that that was the reason Eddie was there. His heart stuttered in his chest, icy anxiety seeping into his veins.

Eddie took one final step closer, putting himself just close enough to him that he could reach out and touch him if he wanted, but far enough away that it wasn't suffocating. 

"Ah." Was all Richie could get out, at a complete loss for words. 

Eddie could feel the nervous energy radiating off of Richie's body. "Say it. For real."

Richie choked, eyes wide. "Uh- what do you mean?"

Eddie scoffed, quirking an eyebrow to him. "You know exactly what the fuck I mean, dumbass. Stop playing stupid."

Richie gulped again, his face burning. "Eds, I-" he cut himself off as he cleared his throat, taking a second to try to compose himself. Eddie's eyes felt inescapable, trapping Richie in the deep warmth that threatened to drown him. When the taller finally spoke again, his words were sure and strong, the massive weight that had been pressing down on him for years flowing out of him as the words left him.

Richie met his eyes properly, doing his best to convey the depth of his feelings. "I love you, Eddie." 

There was a beat of silence, the pair unmoving as they continued to stare each other down, Richie's words settling into the silence around them like a blanket. Eddie pressed forward.

"Are you serious?" Eddie asked, eyes boring into the taller boy. His overwhelming energy was practically radiating off of him, full of anxiety and demand and something else that Richie couldn't quite place.

Richie took a deep breath, steadying himself once more as he let out a long defeated sigh as he let himself give in, dropping down to sit on his bed, leaning back onto his mattress casually. "Yeah." He hummed. "As serious as can be, unfortunately." He stared blankly at something off in the corner of his room, picking at his sheets nervously.

He waited, bracing himself in expectation of the pitying rejection that he was sure was coming. When Eddie still hadn't responded a full minute later, Richie broke.

He sighed again, pushing down the growing sorrow he felt filling his limbs, his eyes drifting up to meet Eddie's again as he shrugged. "Sorry. But I had to get it out there. To be honest it was really starting to tear me up inside," he let out a soft chuckle, eyes falling down to his hands which had moved from the sheets to instead sit limply in his lap. When he spoke again, his voice was rough and quiet, barely a whisper. "To be honest, I got it _bad_ for ya, Eds."

Eddie stood stock still, eyes burning a hole into the side of Richie's head. His body felt rooted in place, eyes stuck open so that he wouldn't miss a single detail of the boy in front of him. He felt like his heart was beating so hard it might burst. He finally spoke.

"Really? Like, for real? This isn't some fucked up joke?"

Richie snorted, laying back on his bed the rest of the way, staring up at the ceiling as his legs continued to dangle over the edge. 

"Really really," he confirmed, snorting at himself before cupping his hand over his mouth and putting up a shitty attempt at a new anchor accent. "Breaking news, everyone, right here in our very own town of Derry, local fairy Richie Tozier is head over heels completely in love with local bubble boy Eddie Kaspbrak. He even wrote him a sappy song on the world's gayest mixtape just to prove it. A tragedy for the ages."

" _Don't_ ," Eddie practically hissed, voice sounding hoarse to his own ears as he continued, "Make this weird, Tozier. I'm serious. I'm having a moment and you're not allowed to fuck it up."

A tired dopey grin pulled at Richie's lips, his body beginning to grow numb. He hummed, pushing himself back up the mattress so he could sprawl his limbs out. "Anything you say, Eddie-boy."

Eddie took a minute to process everything, taking a few deep breaths to calm his racing heart and thoughts. After a moment he finally spoke again, a hand coming up to point an accusing finger at the figure lying prone against the bed. "I can not _believe_ you put fucking _'Love Shack'_ on the mixtape that you used to confess your love to me. What the fuck is wrong with you?" 

Richie laughed loudly in response, heart giving a hopeful tug in his chest as he shrugged into his sheets. He lifted his head up, looking down at Eddie where he still stood a few feet from the edge of the bed.

"I do have a certain image to uphold, Eddie. I couldn't very well just say I love you and leave it at that, what fun would that be! I gotta at least have _some_ fun before getting to the punchline of my love life."

A small laugh is startled out of Eddie. "Shut the _fuck_ up, idiot. And stand up, would you? I have business with that dumb fuckin' giant ass body of yours."

"Business, eh?" Richie mused, another small laugh escaping him. "Well, in that case, of course. Wouldn't want to throw a wrench in you taking care of your business." Richie dragged himself back down the bed and up to his feet, once again coming face to face with his best friend.

Eddie took a beat. And then he took one more. And then, before anyone could say anything else, he practically threw himself at Richie, arms locking around the boy's lanky frame as he buried himself in chest. His eyes were squeezed shut as he pressed his forehead against Richie's collarbone, a shuddering breath escaping him. They stood frozen for a second, the tension swirling around them finally coming to a head as Eddie spoke up.

"Of fucking course I feel the same way, you absolute moron. Stupid idiot."

Richie let out a laugh that was on the verge of hysterical, his arms coming up to wrap cautiously around Eddie's shoulders. His heart thundered in his chest, a rush up euphoria lighting up his veins at Eddie's words. "So I take it this means that you did catch the vibe I was going for with 'Total Eclipse of The Heart', then? Because to be honest I wasn't sure you were gonna pick up on the kind of mixtape energy I was trying to put down. It was very carefully curated, y'know. I figured 'I Wanna Dance With Somebody' and 'Tainted Love' laid the right kinda foundation for what I was going for."

Eddie scoffed, arms tightening around Richie's midsection. "No. Your mix was terrible. The genres were all over the place and the flow of the songs was atrocious. None of those songs work especially well together. You would never make it as a DJ."

Richie laughed loudly, the shock of the situation beginning to give way to fierce affection and unadulterated happiness as he allowed himself to tighten his own grip on Eddie's shoulders a bit. It only took a second longer, however, before he was unable to hold himself back, clutching onto Eddie as though his life depended on it. He leaned down to bury his face in Eddie's hair, muffling his voice. "Fuck, I have to go make an appointment to change my college major then." 

Eddie skirted his fingers up Richie's back, trailing over the bumps and curves of his spine through his shirt. He shifted his arms up to wrap around the back of Richie's neck rather than his torso, carefully shifting so that he could press his face into the side of the taller boy's throat. He inhaled slowly, unabashedly basking in the warmth of their embrace and the scent of Richie's skin. The smell of the familiar cheap cologne Richie occasionally wore mingling with the unmistakable underlying scent of weed, filling Eddie's head with a warm fog of affection. The smell was familiar and comforting, and undeniably Richie.

He inhaled again, letting the fog travel from his head throughout his body, letting it curl up in his chest and warm him from the inside out. It felt almost intoxicating, sending his head spinning and his heart aching. He pressed himself as close to Richie as possible, as though he thought he might evaporate if he let go.

In turn, Richie clung to Eddie as though he was his very air supply, fingers clenched in the back of Eddie's shirt with a white-knuckled grip. He relished the feeling of their bodies pressed together, the way they fit so well against each other it was like they were made for each other.

Eddie took one last breath before lifting his head, pulling back just enough to look up and meet Richie's eyes, now only inches from his own. "Rich," he started, voice coming out in a low whisper. "You really thought 'Pretty Women' was the right energy to start the mix with?" 

"Absolutely." Richie beamed down at him, eyes shining. 

Eddie shook his head disbelievingly. "Unbelievable. You're such a fucking idiot. I hate you." He huffed, one hand moving up the back of Richie's neck to twist into the curls of his hair. 

One of Richie's hands moved up to Eddie's cheek in response, thumb skating gently over his cheekbone. When Richie spoke again, his voice was lowered to match Eddie's whisper. "Amazing, isn't it? Name one man with as much audacity as me." 

Their faces drifted closer almost magnetically, their bodies radiating heat despite the cool wind of the overhead fan that was spinning noisily above them. The air between them felt almost electric as they grew closer, lighting Richie up from his fingers down to the tips of his toes. They both paused mere inches away from each other's lips, Eddie's fingers tightening slightly in Richie's hair. 

"Hey," Eddie murmured, voice so quiet it was only barely there. "For real, though. You suck at mixtapes."

Richie couldn't stop his grin, lightly tapping Eddie's temple with the pointer finger of the hand was still resting gently on his cheek. "But then how else would I charm boys into sneaking into my room to canoodle in the night?"

"If you ever say the word canoodle to me when we're this close to each other again I'm going to beat your ass." Eddie pulled Richie's head down the rest of the way, the two of them practically crashing into each other as their lips met. 

Richie pressed into him even more, his stomach flipping and his heart rolling over in his chest as years of emotions poured out into their kiss, the hand Richie had resting on Eddie's cheek attempting to pull him impossibly closer. 

Eddie pressed back into the kiss just as strong, the hand that he had in Richie's hair carefully but firmly tugging him to the side so that he was at a better angle and Eddie could press into the kiss even further. Richie tasted like weed smoke and sugar, the very thought sending Eddie's heart soaring out of his chest.

Every point of contact between them burned, the force of it filling their bodies and intensifying more with each second their lip touched. Richie had never felt so consumed by anything in his life, the taste of Eddie's lips filling his stomach with fire and making his heart swelling so big in his chest it almost hurt.

Eventually, their burning lungs forced them apart, Eddie regretfully pulling back to breathe, his hands moving down to Richie's chest to bunch in the fabric of his shirt. His body felt light, as though he would float away were it not for Richie's hands holding him in place, his long fingers pressing ever so slightly into the skin of Eddie's hips and anchoring him to reality. 

Richie felt breathless, all thoughts gone from his head other than Eddie, Eddie, _Eddie_.

"Fuck," he breathed, pupils blown wide as his eyes traced and retraced the features of Eddie's face in awe. "I don't think I'll ever be as in love with someone as I am with you, Eds. No one in the world could ever make me feel the way you do." 

If the two of them hadn't still been desperately wrapped around each other as though they were about to slip through each other's fingers, Eddie thought he would've been shaking like a leaf. He figured he probably still was, the emotion rooted deep inside of him running freely through body after years of neglect. He leaned up, quickly pressing another desperate kiss to Richie's lips before pulling back once again.

"Don't let it go to your head too much," Eddie murmured, moving to kiss down Richie's jaw. "But I love you so much I feel like I could die."

" _Fuck_ , Eds," Richie choked out, his grip on Eddie's hips tightening. "I'd do anything for you." The sheer force of emotions built up in Richie's chest formed a lump in his throat, tears welling up behind his eyes as his heart filled up past its limit and spilled over.

Eddie felt like his face might split in half if he grinned any wider, once again pulling Richie down for another proper kiss, their lips eager against each other. It only lasted a few seconds before Eddie pulled away again.

"There's no way it's healthy for my heart to beat this fast," he laughed breathlessly, eyes large as he looked up at Richie. "Richie Tozier," the name rolled off his lips like honey. "You're an absolute fuckin' idiot, and I cannot _stand_ you." Laughter bubbled out of his chest. "And I love you so much I think I might have a heart attack." 

Richie laughed wetly, the tears in his eyes finally spilling over and tracking down his face. "God damn," He sniffled, grinning. He leaned down to capture Eddie's lips again, his mouth automatically opening ever so slightly under Richie's in order to deepen the kiss. 

Eddie reached a hand up to cup the side of Richie's face, his thumb carefully swiping at the tears rolling down his cheeks, the gesture making Richie's knees go weak. 

Richie stumbled back slightly, the back of his legs hitting the mattress of his bed once again as he tried to keep his legs from giving out entirely. The sudden movement tragically disrupted their kiss, breaking them apart and leaving Eddie chasing his lips as he pulled him backwards with him. Richie laughed lightly, bringing one of his own hands up to scrub at his face in an attempt to stem the flow from his eyes. It didn't do much.

He just grinned dumbly, pressing a kiss to Eddie's forehead. "I'm so fuckin' high and you're so fuckin' beautiful." He wobbled on his feet, falling backwards to sit on the bed, breaking away from their embrace. He sat there for a moment, taking a second to try to gather his thoughts and compose himself. 

Eddie waited patiently, dopey smile painted on his face as he watched him. Without thinking, he reached a hand out, brushing his fingers through Richie's hair to push it back out of his face. "I've always loved your hair," he admitted idly, fingers scratching lightly at his scalp, making Richie's breath hitch.

"The way it curls when it grows out like this… I always want to touch it." He twirled a strand of Richie's hair around his finger, gently pulling it straight before releasing it and watching, transfixed, as it bounced right back into place.

"I- me too." Richie stuttered, feeling himself blush. "Your hair. It curls when it gets long too. Especially when you grow it out for real. And my god, Kaspbrak, might I just say- that hair is _deadly_. Although actually, so is every other look you have. So maybe it's just me."

He looked up at Eddie like he hung the moon and painted the stars, absolute honesty and yearning displayed clearly within his eyes. 

"Fuck, Richie," Eddie murmured, longing for the time they could've spent together if one of them had spoken up sooner. "What the fuck is wrong with us?" 

Richie chuckled. "We're teenage boys. That means very stupid."

Eddie laughed. "I suppose so." Eddie's hand drifted from his hair down the side of his face, tracing lightly over the skin of his cheekbones and down to his jaw. 

Richie just looked up at him, watching Eddie's face as he let him touch as he pleased. 

Abruptly, Eddie switched, fingers shifting from gently petting over the curve of his cheekbone to instead grab his jaw firmly, holding him in place. Richie jolted slightly before relaxing into the touch, allowing Eddie to tilt his head up without resistance. 

Eddie held him in place, eyes pouring over his face again. 

"God _Damn_ ," Eddie breathed. "I can really just… touch you. However I want. _Shit_." Eddie practically gasped, the ease at which Richie gave into him making his blood pressure skyrocket. He released Richie's jaw, instead bringing both hands up to cup the sides of his face as he leaned down, meeting Richie's lips in yet another kiss. He lingered in it, pressing into Richie's lips firmly, doing his best to convey the way he was feeling through the action. Richie kissed back just as enthusiastically, meeting Eddie beat for beat. He even reached up, one of his own hands coming up to the back of Eddie's neck, drawing him even closer. 

After a few moments, Eddie reluctantly pulled away with a soft sigh, only taking a moment before practically tackling Richie in a hug, the force causing the both of them to fall back against the mattress. Eddie held him close, face buried in Richie's chest. 

Richie leaned down to press a kiss to the top of his head. He 

"Fuck," Richie breathed. "How long do you think we're gonna be in shock for?" 

"Dunno." Eddie responded, voice muffled slightly from where his face was still pressed to Richie's chest. "I don't wanna leave you." 

"Wait, Leave me?" Richie asked, a bit of alarm creeping into his voice. "Leave me how?"

Eddie snorted, finally lifting his head to speak properly. "It's like 3am, Rich. Leave as in go back to my house."

Richie frowned, grip around Eddie tightening unconsciously. "Oh. Terrible news." 

Richie rolled them over so they were on their side, pulling Eddie close and tangling their legs together. 

"You could always stay here. With me. And we can keep doing this. Which I am very much enjoying." Richie pressed a kiss to Eddie's temple. 

Eddie immediately leaned up, catching his lips in a soft peck before setting back down against his chest. 

"I don't think I could imagine a more persuasive argument," Eddie chuckled. "But if I stay, my mom will freak in the morning." He hesitated. "I feel like it's probably worth it, to be honest. I think I might die if I leave right now."

Richie grinned. "Well we certainly can't have that," he hummed, maneuvering his blankets up over the pair of them. Richie shifted, trying to get them comfortable against the mattress.

"We're gonna be sweaty as shit." Eddie pointed out, Richie's body heat feeling like a comforting burn against his own skin. 

"We'll deal with it later." Richie murmured, closing his eyes. "I'm so _tired_. Maybe it's because i was scared all day."

Eddie snorted, tucking himself comfortably against Richie. "Yeah. Me too. Maybe because some _jackass_ decided to be all cryptic and weird all damn day."

Richie just snorted, exhaustion already overtaking him. "I love you, Eds." He murmured, pressing his nose into the top of Eddie's head. 

Eddie smiled, cuddling even closer to him. "I love you too, Richie." he whispered. 

Richie hummed again, pressing one final kiss to the top of Eddie's head before they both drifted off to sleep.


End file.
